Jupiter Ascending 4K 2015

A young woman discovers her destiny as an heiress of intergalactic nobility and must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive industry.

Story Movie
Jupiter Jones was born under a night sky, with signs predicting that she was destined for great things. Now grown, Jupiter dreams of the stars but wakes up to the cold reality of a job cleaning other people's houses and an endless run of bad breaks. Only when Caine Wise, a genetically engineered ex-military hunter, arrives on Earth to track her down does Jupiter begin to glimpse the fate that has been waiting for her all along - her genetic signature marks her as next in line for an extraordinary inheritance that could alter the balance of the cosmos.

Jupiter Ascending 4K Review
'Jupiter Ascending' was panned (I suspect) by the same small brains that only love to slag by comparison. I'm thinking of "Kings Solomon's Mines" in the shadow of "Raiders". I'm thinking of "Fifth Element" being compared to 'Star Wars'. I'm thinking "new Batman" to "old Batman". And on, and on.

Well, a fickle fie on that that.

"Jupiter Ascending" is fun, is spectacular, and is in no way sillier than the original 'Star Wars' (as in episode IV). Yes, the gravity- surfing boots were hokey, but no more than light sabers or (Oh) The Voice of Obi from Beyond.

I mean, and flipping' heck! Does everything in cinema have to be mean and retro and grungy and full of old failing and aging superheroes with bad knees and depression? This all getting so tired so fast.

I loved this film precisely because it was full of meaningless gloss, and bless the Matrix Guys for not making another self-referential piece of pablum. It's fun. It's stupid. It has nothing to tell us about the meaning of life.

It's not Deep, Portentous and Meaningful tripe like 'Avatar' and 'After Earth'. Thank goodness!

'Jupiter Ascending' is A-grade Space Opera and let's just leave it at that.

Get a life, critics.